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post #16 of 1272 (permalink) Old 03-14-06, 05:17 PM
"We got this... go home."
 
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way to go evil

and yes, it meant if it was in fact your kid, take the pill, changes your blood type and PRESTO!

"Tigers love pepper.. they hate cinnamon"

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post #17 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 05:25 PM
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post #18 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 05:25 PM
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holy fucking shit evil.
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post #19 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 05:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bitter79
holy fucking shit evil.
I know! :hiding:
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post #20 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 05:26 PM
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& the jokes are going downhill in quality. someone fix this please
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post #21 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 05:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bitter79
& the jokes are going downhill in quality. someone fix this please
you fix it bitch!
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post #22 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 05:28 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ekimevil
you fix it bitch!
no, b/c I don't feel like explaining simple punch lines to a drugged up canadian
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post #23 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 05:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bitter79
no, b/c I don't feel like explaining simple punch lines to a drugged up canadian
HAHA, fuck
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post #24 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 05:33 PM
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aw, come here my little sickly canadian polar poodle
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post #25 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 05:35 PM
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post #26 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 05:58 PM Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ekimevil
sorry, I realize I totaly butchered your joke and probably this entire thread with this post.
Yeah. The joke was based on the fact that you had sex with a girl and she came out pregnant...
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post #27 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 06:11 PM Thread Starter
 
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Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire. The youngest cowboy says, “Last week, a mammoth bull gored 10 men on the range, but I stepped in and wrestled it to the ground with nothing but my bare hands.”

Not wanting to be outdone, the second cowboy says, “That’s nothing. Two days ago, I was attacked by a 10-foot rattler, but I caught it in mid-strike and ripped off its head with my teeth.”

The oldest cowboy just sits there quietly, slowly stirring the coals with his penis.


you gotta laugh at this one
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post #28 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 06:16 PM
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You know, I thought about how I wanted to die and I realized I want to go just like my grandfather did, nice, quiet and peaceful in his sleep, not kicking, yelling and screaming like the passengers on the bus he was driving.
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post #29 of 1272 Old 03-14-06, 07:38 PM
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Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.
"The good news is I can cure your headaches... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck" Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9-1/2... E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see... 7-5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure..." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 32. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache..."

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post #30 of 1272 Old 03-15-06, 01:54 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Daddymac117
Joe was moderately successful in his career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem.
"The good news is I can cure your headaches... The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for. He couldn't concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit."

The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see... size 44 long." Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?" Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see... 34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck" Joe was surprised, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?" Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see... 9-1/2... E." Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about a new hat?" Without hesitating, Joe said, "Sure..."

The salesman eyed Joe's head and said, "Let's see... 7-5/8." Joe was incredulous, "That's right, how did you know?"

"It's my job."

The hat fit perfectly. Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?" Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure..." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 32 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 32. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache..."
I laughed at first and then I felt bad for the guy because now all he has left is a murder conviction pending.
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