Sounds like the dealer needs to reprogram the transmission. I think they call it "flashing?" I bought a new 2018 RDX over the Honda CRV because of the V-6 engine - which turned out to be an excellent decision. I have not regretted buying the Acura. I kept my RDX for about a year and put 17,000 miles on it, then traded it on a new 2019 Acura MDX. Anyway, I never had a bit of trouble with my RDX transmission - or my MDX with the 9-speed transmission for that matter. I would agree with you that this "hard shifting" might damage the transmission. Good luck with this - hopefully the dealer can pinpoint the problem. Please keep the group posted.