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Courtesy of Mark...

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the
Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible." - P. J. ORourke

"What do I know about sex? I'm a married man." Tom Clancy

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." Steve Martin

"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither." Drew Carey

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned
good." Woody Allen

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't
have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." Unknown

"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all." - Rodney Dangerfield

"My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet." - Bill Kelly

"As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women and
clergymen." Rev. Sydney Smith

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." Woody Allen

"Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children." Sam Austin

"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." George Burns

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." Matt Barry

"My kid had sex with your honor student." Bumper Sticker

"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life." Michael Sinz

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast." Woody Allen

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." George Burns

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."

Edit by Driven: Lazy! geez :rolleyes: :D
 

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Fire-Breathing Femme
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The Rodney Dangerfield and George Burns ones are my favorites. :thumbsup:

That George Burns one works well for all kinds of situations, too: "There are a million reasons why I'm not going home with you tonight. One is that you're fugly. The rest are unimportant"...and so forth and so on...
 

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Bitch don't just copy this from word lay it out, seperate each line com'n man, BTW funny shit. SOmeone had that P.J. O'Rouke thing in there sig at acl
 

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pgatour1 said:
Bitch don't just copy this from word lay it out, seperate each line com'n man, BTW funny shit. SOmeone had that P.J. O'Rouke thing in there sig at acl
That would be me.

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible." P. J. ORourke

I changed it to say SL600...
 

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"Show me a frigid women and, nine times out of ten, I’ll show you a little man."

Julie Burchill (b. 1960), British journalist, author.

;)
 
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