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THESE SHOULD OFFEND ALMOST EVERYONE....
>
> What do you call a smart blonde?
>
> A golden retriever.
> _____
>
> What's the best form of birth control after
> the age of 50?
>
> Nudity.
> _____
>
> What do attorneys use for birth control?
>
> Their personalities.
> _____
>
> What's the difference between a girlfriend
> and a wife?
>
> 45 lbs.
> _____
>
> What's the difference between a boyfriend
> and
> a husband?
>
> 45 minutes.
> _____
>
> How many women does it take to change a
> light
> bulb?
>
> None, they just sit there in the dark and
> bitch.
> ____
>
> What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>
> Through his chest with a sharp knife.
> ____
>
> Why are men and parking spaces alike?
>
> Because all the good ones are taken and the
> only ones left are disabled.
> _____
>
> Why do men want to marry virgins?
>
> They can't stand criticism.
> _____
>
> Why is it so hard for women to find men
> that
> are sensitive, caring, and good
> looking?
>
> Because those men already have boyfriends.
> _____
>
>
> What's the difference between a new husband
> and a new dog?
>
> After a year, the dog is still excited to
> see
> you.
> _____
>
> What makes men chase women they have no
> intention of marrying?
>
> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars
> they
> have no intention of driving.
> _____
>
> Why does the bride always wear white?
>
> Because it's good for the dishwasher to
> match
> the stove and refrigerator.
> _____
>
> A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all
> in third grade. Who has the
> biggest boobs?
>
> The blonde, because she's 18.
> _____
>
> What is the quickest way to clear out a
> men's
> restroom?
>
> Say, "Nice Dick."
> _____
>
> Why don't bunnies make noise when they have
> sex?
>
> Because they have cotton balls.
> ______
>
> What's the difference between a porcupine
> and
> a BMW?
>
> A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
> _____
>
> What did the blonde say when she found out
> she was pregnant?
>
> "Are you sure it's mine?"
> _____
>
> What's the difference between Beer Nuts and
> Deer Nuts?
>
> Beer Nuts are $1, and Deer Nuts are always
> under a buck.
> _____
>
> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>
> Mace will do that to you.
> _____
>
> Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West
> Virginia?
>
> Everyone has the same DNA.
> _____
>
> What would you call it when an Italian has
> one arm shorter than the other?
>
> A speech impediment.
> _____
>
> Why do men find it difficult to make eye
> contact?
>
> Breasts don't have eyes.
> _____
>
> Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
>
> He walks around saying "Yo."
> _____
>
> Why do drivers education classes in Redneck
> schools use the car only on
> Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
>
> Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed
> class uses it.
> _____
>
> What's the difference between a Southern
> zoo,
> and a Northern zoo?
>
> A Southern zoo has a description of the
> animal on the front the cage, along
> with a recipe.
> _____
>
> What's the Cuban National Anthem?
>
> Row row row your boat.
> _____
>
> What's the difference between a Northern
> fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
>
> A Northern fairytale begins "Once upon a
> time."
>
> A Southern fairytale begins "'Y'all ain't
> gonna believe this shit."
> ________
>
> Why do they call PMS, PMS
>
> Mad cow disease was taken...
 
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