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Breaking News

ATHLETE WITHOUT COMPELLING
PERSONAL DRAMA EXPELLED FROM OLYMPICS

(NBC) A member of the U.S. Olympic ski team was disqualified from competition today when it was learned that he did not have a sufficiently compelling human storyline to exploit on the NBC telecast of the worldwide sporting event.

Tom Bergen, the expelled skier, was not raised by a single mother, never had career-threatening injury, and did not overcome a personal tragedy of any kind before making the Olympic ski team, U.S. Olympic officials revealed today.

"Had Tom been involved in an organ donation, as either a donor or a recipient, that would have been acceptable to us," ski team spokesman Sandy Harrell told reporters. "However, he was not." According to sources close to the ski team, Bergen had concealed the fact that he comes from an intact middle class family who never lost their home to a flood, tornado, or typhoon.

But what may have sealed Bergen's doom, sources said, was his utter lack of a gravely ill family member to win a medal for. "Tom did his best to hide his background from team officials," one source said. "But when the truth came out, he was finished."

Speaking to reporters in Salt Lake City, NBC Sports Chairman Dick Ebersol was even less charitable, terming Bergen's actions "a reprehensible betrayal." "We do our best to check out all of the athletes to make sure that their backgrounds are full of compelling human drama, but we can't catch everything," Ebersol said. "This is a case of one really bad guy exploiting the system."
 

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HAHAHAH,

I give that a 8 just because I hate watching the fucking olympics and having to hear about stupid stories of people I don't give a shit about. They are on TV to play sports not so they can tell me when they were little they made skis out of wood and got splinters, or something like that.:D ;) :p
 

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pgatour1 said:
HAHAHAH,

I give that a 8 just because I hate watching the fucking olympics and having to hear about stupid stories of people I don't give a shit about. They are on TV to play sports not so they can tell me when they were little they made skis out of wood and got splinters, or something like that.:D ;) :p
really, man! who gives a flying fuck about their personal drama?!
I have plenty of drama in my life to suit me...just having a bowel movement at work is dramatic enough.
just win the fucking gold and go home to you picture on a box of wheaties. keep your struggles at home.

actually this is the kind of background I'd like to hear:

"Our next athlete comes to us from Iceland...she is 20 years old and has experimented with lesbianism since the age of 14. She admits to giving her boyfriend anal 3 times a week and has had sex with her trainer twice."
 

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ShockBoltThrower said:


really, man! who gives a flying fuck about their personal drama?!
I have plenty of drama in my life to suit me...just having a bowel movement at work is dramatic enough.
just win the fucking gold and go home to you picture on a box of wheaties. keep your struggles at home.

actually this is the kind of background I'd like to hear:

"Our next athlete comes to us from Iceland...she is 20 years old and has experimented with lesbianism since the age of 14. She admits to giving her boyfriend anal 3 times a week and has had sex with her trainer twice."
LOL :rofl:
 

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ShockBoltThrower said:



"Our next athlete comes to us from Iceland...she is 20 years old and has experimented with lesbianism since the age of 14. She admits to giving her boyfriend anal 3 times a week and has had sex with her trainer twice."

HAHAHAHHA ROFLMAO


There was a few of those Ukraine or like Crotia or I don't know where the fuck all of them were from that were skating and skiing that were HOT. Like really pretty blondes. And you know they got perfect bodies, so I want to hear those stories too. Also they are all 16-20 years old.:D :boink:
 

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pgatour1 said:



HAHAHAHHA ROFLMAO


There was a few of those Ukraine or like Crotia or I don't know where the fuck all of them were from that were skating and skiing that were HOT. Like really pretty blondes. And you know they got perfect bodies, so I want to hear those stories too. Also they are all 16-20 years old.:D :boink:
Yummy! I think I should be the Olympic commentator for the 2004 games...whadda you guys say?

"Here we have Luke, from the mid west...Luke will be competing in our next Tae Kwon Do match. He began training at the age of 10 when his father beat him silly after catching him playing with his sister's barbie. Needless to say, by the age of 16, no one was snapping towels on his bare buttocks in high school."
 

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ShockBoltThrower said:


Yummy! I think I should be the Olympic commentator for the 2004 games...whadda you guys say?

"Here we have Luke, from the mid west...Luke will be competing in our next Tae Kwon Do match. He began training at the age of 10 when his father beat him silly after catching him playing with his sister's barbie. Needless to say, by the age of 16, no one was snapping towels on his bare buttocks in high school."
Not like it matters but where are the summers in 2004
 

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"Tanya, is our finalist from the Czech Republic. Before her career in figure skaing, she was a dancer in her little village's only gentlemen's club. She come to Salt lake with the dream to win a gold medal so that she can where it around her neck when stars in her up coming home-made masterbation movie.
Wow, will you look at the rack on her? I would do marvelous things with those legs. Oh, shit! Are we still on the air?!"
 

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ShockBoltThrower said:
"Tanya, is our finalist from the Czech Republic. Before her career in figure skaing, she was a dancer in her little village's only gentlemen's club. She come to Salt lake with the dream to win a gold medal so that she can where it around her neck when stars in her up coming home-made masterbation movie.
Wow, will you look at the rack on her? I would do marvelous things with those legs. Oh, shit! Are we still on the air?!"

HAHAHAHAHAH :D
 
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