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I WANT YOU!
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1. An African family had inherited a heavy metal throne from a distant cousin who was related to a former king. Not knowing what to do with it, they lugged to the "attic" of their poor bungalow (which was largely constructed from pressed and woven jungle grass). A few days later, the weight of the throne was too much for the structure, and it came crashing down to the ground floor - proving once again, that "people in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones".

2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too.

4. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."

8. These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ... what?

A super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was a man who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

Sorry :)!! Couldn't resist inflicting a little torture on some of you :).
 

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Wyle E. Coyote said:
1. An African family had inherited a heavy metal throne from a distant cousin who was related to a former king. Not knowing what to do with it, they lugged to the "attic" of their poor bungalow (which was largely constructed from pressed and woven jungle grass). A few days later, the weight of the throne was too much for the structure, and it came crashing down to the ground floor - proving once again, that "people in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones".
Well that's new. :)
 

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Yuck Foo
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That was far from torturous. I laughed my ass off at a couple of those. I'm even gonna send them on to a few friends. :D
 

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Fire-Breathing Femme
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:scratch:

I seem to remember seeing those before...

But I don't remember the first one, so :beerchug: :party:

:lol:
 

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Yuck Foo
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Phoenix said:
:scratch:

I seem to remember seeing those before...

But I don't remember the first one, so :beerchug: :party:

:lol:
We don't expect you to remember anything. You are functioning on 5 hours sleep in small increments. Don't worry... everything will be just fine. :D
 

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NO AMG, NO CARE
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ShockBoltThrower said:
What the hell you trying to do, boy?:D :D :p
KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN
 

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Iridium130 said:


KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN KILL THE CLOWN
Someone afraid of clowns?:p
 
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